GERMANY 2024

   


The much-maligned Das Deutsche Finale was held on Friday night in Berlin. Your winner? Isaak Guderian with "Always on the Run". Let's see if it's any good:



About the Artist

Even the German Wikipedia knows nothing about this man.

Best Things We Lost Along the Way

Not the worst final out there, surprisingly!
  • Ryk, "Oh Boy", 3rd: A classic sad boy ballad. The sound mixing was really weird in Berlin, but he sings it incredibly well. Would've maybe fared slightly better at Eurovision?
  • Galant, "Katze", 5th: Another cat-based song!
  • Marie Reim, "Naiv", 6th: Either this or "Katze" could've been the first song Germany's sent in German since 2007. This song definitely belongs in 2007 - it's some real schlager - but that's not a bad thing.

Song Analysis

I actually kinda like this! "Oh Boy" was definitely the standout here, but this is perfectly fine and wouldn't be the worst thing Germany's sent recently. It's very much a radio song - it'll get plenty of popularity in Germany and then flop at the contest. The chorus is catchy and he can sing!

Germany's History


Germany's historically been one of the weaker big countries, but they had a good stretch in the 80s (winning in 1982) and getting another win in 2010 with Lena. Since then...bad. Only Michael Schulte's surprise 4th place in 2018 breaks up a streak of 7 straight bottom-two finishes (not all deserved). 2020's entry probably would've been the best they've sent in ages, but alas.


Relative to actual results, I'm actually a big Germany respecter. That's why they're 43rd of 48 countries instead of something worse. That's still the worst of all the Big Five and only ahead of Croatia and Switzerland among active participants. 

Prognosis

Germany = dead last in the final. I wrote this before the final even started and will not be changing it, no matter who wins.

Current Rankings




















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